Special bonus this week! You get both a Thursday Ten and a Friday Five!
Mary and I rarely go to the movies anymore. For one thing, even the bargain matinee is close to $10 apiece now, and concessions can run another $20. That’s a lot of money for a bargain matinee. I shudder to think what teens pay on the weekends. For another, I have a hard time getting out of theater seats, which are built close to the floor and have this tendency to move when I try and use the back to brace myself so I can stand up. And finally, there isn’t much of anything that appeals to us at the movies. Movies with a lot of special effects and violence don’t do it for us anymore, and that’s just about every movie nowadays. If there’s a movie we really, really want to see, we can wait until it comes to Netflix or one of the other online services. So far, there hasn’t been one.
There are a few movies that we love, or at least one of us loves, and on occasion we speak to each other in dialogue from the movie, or at least quote one of the lines from that movie. These are five of our favorites.
Dumb and Dumber might have been the dumbest movies I’ve seen, which means I thought it was hilarious. This is from a scene where Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) and Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels, who in my opinion upstaged Carrey) are in a diner, placing their order with a waitress named Flo (and can’t stop cracking up, obviously remembering Polly Holliday in Alice). Lloyd wants to appear sophisticated, and this is the dialogue.
Double Take starred Orlando Jones (from Mad TV) and Eddie Griffin (from Malcolm and Eddie), a movie in which Daryl (Jones) assumes the identity of Freddy (Griffin) to avoid the police and get to Mexico. At one point, the two of them are in a hotel room, and Freddy starts talking about how the FBI and the CIA were coming to get them. He sees a Pepsi truck roll in to the parking lot, and he starts going crazy. Any time we see a Pepsi truck on the street now, we have to use the line.
I have two quotes from Wag The Dog, starring Robert DeNiro, Anne Heche, and Dustin Hoffman. It was such a good movie, we actually paid to see it twice. In the movie, the President of the United States has been caught in a compromising position, so to divert attention, his handlers (DeNiro and Heche) decide they will tell the nation that the country is now at war with Albania. In fact, it isn’t, but it makes a great story. They hire Stanley Motss (Hoffman) to produce the war for them. Naturally, it’s a comedy of errors, with plans going sideways all the time, and every time they do, Motss says this.
Every war needs a hero, of course, and they contact the Army to loan them a hero. When the hero, Sgt. Schumann (Woody Harrelson), is brought to them, he’s accompanied by two MP’s who have him in chains. Apparently, Schumann is a psychotic who’s been put in Leavenworth for raping a nun, and needs to be medicated heavily so he’ll behave himself. Winifred (Heche) is beside herself with worry, so Motss tries to reassure her with this conversation.
Interesting thing about the movie: when it came out in 1997, everyone assumed that it was about Bill Clinton, who was going through some serious scandals at the time. However, the book by Larry Beinhart identifies George Bush Senior as the president, and the DeNiro character is Lee Atwater, former RNC chairman.
Every writer should print this out and put it on their bulletin board, and, whenever some particularly harsh criticism comes in, they need to remind themselves of this. This was in the original The Producers that starred Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder as two Broadway producers who hatch a plot to put on the worst possible musical so they can keep the money they raised after the show flops. They land on a script for “Springtime For Hitler,” written by Third Reich veteran Franz Liebkind (Kenneth Mars), who doesn’t appreciate the audience laughing at his play.
There are loads of lines from movies that will probably make their way into future movie quotes posts. My favorite movie, A Hard Day’s Night, starring The Beatles and Wilfrid Brambel, could supply an entire post by itself. But that’ll do for this week. The image quotes were created on Quozio.com, by the way.
And that’s your Friday Five for August 7, 2015.