Yes, I Mean No #socs

First, a bit of news: yes, I managed to get XAMPP and WordPress installed and import this site into it (at least up through Wednesday). My next trick will be to understand how the tables fit together and create a single table that has all the stuff I want in it, so I can actually use the thing. No, it will not be easy, but yes, I have enough understanding of SQL to do that, and yes, I will be making a backup copy of the database for when I screw it up.

Like a lot of people I know, I have the terrible habit of saying “yes” when I really mean “no.” At least I did. My career from grammar school through the stroke was all about saying “yes” when I meant “no,” and I’m sure it was a contributing factor to the stroke. Maybe not directly, but because I did self-destructive things in an attempt to assuage myself because I had said “yes” when I meant “no.”

Blame it on codependency if you want, but what I needed to learn was not to say “yes” when I meant “no.” Mary used to joke that I needed to make myself flash cards that said “NO!” on them. She was right.

I love this:

Not that I ever said it to anyone, mind you, including many times I should have.


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Yes, this is part of Linda Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

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Author: John Holton

I'm a writer and blogger who writes and blogs about things that interest me.

10 thoughts on “Yes, I Mean No #socs”

  1. No is a hard thing to say for many reasons. You don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings and there is always the follow up question of “Why not?” to answer. I have learned that it is okay to say no and I do it by saying things like, “I’m sorry but that just won’t fit into my schedule now,” or, since I work from home, I use the excuse that I have a deadline to meet. With the kids, I have definitely used the “What part of no do you not understand?” line. Have a great weekend, John. (Glad you figured out your alphabet soup gobbledegook.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “No” is a very important word to use. I forget, too. Best of luck with whatever you’re talking about in the first paragraph. Please forgive me for *not looking into it further – I have sooo many posts yet to read.
    See what I did there? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve seen a lot of people posting about just saying Yes, and while I think they were all good reasons to say Yes, there are a LOT of things we need to say No to. Learning to say No is important. Choosing when to say either, well that’s a life skill we all struggle with.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was conditioned to feel guilty whenever I said “no.” I had to get over it. I heard someone talk once about time management, and his two steps were:

      Decide what’s important.
      Say “no” to the rest.

      Words to live by.

      Liked by 1 person

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