I Came Up With This Week’s #1LinerWeds All By Myself!

This requires a bit of setup…

As I’ve mentioned, we’re slowly getting out of the cat business. All of our clowder are in their mid- to late teens, and some of them are looking a little worse for wear. Several of our now-deceased cats have gone through this phase where they’re basically skin and bones and need to be fed several times a day, and get downright insistent that they must be fed right then and there, and get very vocal about it until Mary gives in and feeds them. Lately, that cat has been Minnie (you might remember her brother Max passed on a few months ago). She’s gotten to where, any time Mary makes a move, she starts howling that she must have food. She might have been fed half an hour ago and the food might still be on the plate, but she needs to see Mary open a can of food and dump it onto the plate before she can eat.

I got Mary to laugh the other day when, after Minnie had gone into her “Feed me! Feed me! I’m starving half to death” act, I said to the cat

Referring, of course, to the practice on cruise ships of serving meals every two hours…


One-Liner Wednesday is brought to you each week by Linda Hill and this station. Now a word from Crest. Look Ma, no cavities!

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Author: John Holton

I'm a writer and blogger who writes and blogs about things that interest me.

18 thoughts on “I Came Up With This Week’s #1LinerWeds All By Myself!”

  1. Have you had her thyroid tested? Many cats that are so thin and want food are hyperthyroid. It is an easy fix with a pill. I have 5 cats on thyroid meds, all over the age of 12.

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  2. It’s been a while since I had cats on my property because of the dogs, but the semi feral outdoor cats we feed at church are extremely insistent whenever they see one of their servants, even if they were fed an hour ago. Maybe that’s why they look so plump. Our music director (one of their servants) calls them con artists. So maybe this is typical of cats.

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  3. Every time I walk in the door, the kids think it’s time for a meal…Pavlov’s Dog syndrome. I sure hope you find a way to keep Minnie from howling every 30 minutes for food. That has to be stressful for you and Mary and Minnie too.

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  4. Animals can be so unique and just downright quirky! This is quite a humorous anecdote and must be frustrating at times. I am writing this as my one cat is just meowing at me…

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  5. Great One-Liner! Absolutely spot-on description of cats in decline. We just had that chat the other night when one of the girls’ friends was here. She’d recently lost a kitty much older than she. Never knew life without her. Made me sad.
    I’ve learned I can fork the wet food and poke at the dry food and my big boy will eat again. shakes head Whatever works, I’m the Gopher of this ship!

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    1. With cats, it’s hard to tell they’re in decline until it’s almost too late. We had no warning with her brother; he just started moping around the house one day and by the end of the day he had moved on. Others have gone several years looking like they had one foot in the grave and we just got up one day and they were gone. Cats are like that.

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  6. This is a great group of songs. I especially loved “Danny’s Song” because it reminds me of our son, Daniel’s Bar Mitzvah video. We played this song while showing his baby pictures. Such wonderful memories of my soon to be thirty-year-old son!

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